The Person I Sometimes Think I Want to Be

The person I sometimes think I want to be can do anything she wants. She can scale mountains wearing a ball gown, she can play viola concertos from memory to a pack of raging hyenas, she can speak 18 languages, and she can bake the most complicated dish perfectly on the first attempt. This girl is environmentally conscious: she has figured out a way to never buy anything new while always looking amazing, and she never puts anything to waste. 

Sometimes she is a wanderer- spending years on end peacefully sailing across oceans or riding trains across the country making friends with everyone she meets. 

Sometimes this girl solves all the world's problems with one weird trick. She brings peace to warring nations using an obvious solution that was sitting in front of everyone the whole time, unnoticed. 

Needless to say, she has it all figured out. She has perfect relationships with every family, friend, and lover. Never forgets to bake a cake and paint a card for their birthdays. She's the person everyone calls when they need help or a kind word, and she jumps in without hesitation, always knowing exactly what to do.

Her mind is agile and her body is sharp. She doesn't need any sleep, so she has more time to read every novel and memorize every poem.

Sometimes she is a seeker, always wanting to know and see more, and sometimes she is content in the splendor of her surroundings.

Sometimes she followed a path from which the real me veered away. She is the professional violist now playing with the Cleveland Orchestra, or the dancer now in ABT.

But sometimes, the person I want to be is the person that I really am. And all these other me's fade into the background of my soul. But they are not unimportant. They give me insight into what I value most. They usually underscore some part of my life that I am not happy with, helping to make meaningful changes. Best yet, they keep me company with exciting adventures in my mind!

I will never be exactly the person I want to be because of her elusive and otherworldly nature, but I can gradually become more like her.

South America 2014

I was hanging out virtually with one of my favorite people, Monica, last night.  She's in Ecuador, and I'm in New York City, but Skype allows us to have a video version of each other to talk to.  It's not something I've done very often, so I'm not used to the feeling of being watched from afar, but I can't say how awesome it was to feel like we were just chilling like the old times.  Now, at this point, you're probably wondering why she's in Ecuador, and why this story is relevant to anything  (I haven't posted in this blog in almost a year, so this post better be interesting, don't you think?).

Monica is studying biology at Denison University, which is outside of Columbus Ohio.  This semester, she's on something akin to a field study, but I'm not sure what exactly it's called.  She's hanging out in a small village in Ecuador, studying plants.  Developing natural pesticides and fungicides, and all sorts of craziness.  I'm super impressed, and also a bit jealous that she is spending so much time in a beautiful, peaceful environment, while I'm in a big city, churning nonstop with people, ideas, work, and stress.  

So when she asks me to join her in backpacking through South America with her next summer, I nearly jump off my mattress, where I was folding laundry.  That's exactly the kind of trip that I've been dying for.  And I couldn't think of someone I'd rather do it with.  My immediate answer was, Let's Do It!!!!!!

Thinking forward, there's a lot of work to do in preparation.  I need to somehow save enough money.  I would probably need to put away $100 each month until then.  This is not going to easy.  Margins are very tight as it is, so I think I need to get creative.  If you have any ideas, let me know.  If anyone is going to give me a birthday present in July, it might as well be related to this, because this is serious, people!  I'm thinking, maybe I can move after my lease is up if I find a decent room for $600.  I had a lot of great ideas while I was working today, but I was also making lattes at the speed of sound, so I don't really remember much.  I might try to busk with my viola.

Provided I (we) can figure out the finances, there will be tons of choices and preparation.  I'll try to use this blog as repository for information on the development.  Details like where we're going and so forth.

I would like this trip to be an adventure that strengthens the bonds of a great friendship, and which lends me some sense of direction for my studies, career, and life.  Also, I would like to volunteer in some way while I'm down there (because I would help any community I find myself in, not because I believe them to be in great need of help from Americans).

I apologize for my rambling.  If anyone has traveled to South America, or has done backpacking, and would like to give us some advice, feel free to leave a comment!